What do people expect from me? They expect me to participate in social activities and to be part of the “common consciousness”. That is a fair expectation in my opinion. In this blog post I want to take a look at some circumstances and obstacles concerning these expectations. I think it will be wise to read the definition of some of the words I use, they are linked, as the word “expectation” was just linked.. That way we will be on the “same page”.
In this aspect I am thinking about what we expect and when we expect it in terms of my hearing progress. This is also a sore and difficult point on my behalf, since it is much about social interaction and how I am perceived socially. How I am viewed as a person.
As I’m going the path of CI rehabilitation and re-learning to hear, I am doing some discoveries about expectations of my recovery from both myself and others near and dear.
Me, a social outsider
All my life I’ve been a part of the hearing world, and thus a social outsider. Even among my closest friends and family, I got and still get, remarks and comments that hurt to the core of my being. I’m sometimes left with a feeling that people suspect me of WANTING to be isolated or withdrawn from issues that are talked about. I often feel misunderstood and misinterpreted. For instance my withdrawal from social events is sometimes being interpreted as a lack of interest, or attempt to socialize. That is so unfair and sad. I’ll explain why…
The more people talking at the same time, the more impossible it is for me to interact in a meaningful way. Believe me when I say I really wish I was able to interact with others on their terms, but there is a huge damage in my hearing that makes that incredibly hard. There is a limit to everyone’s mental capacity and endurance. My limit is shorter than most in terms of social interaction due to the nature of listening and understanding.