What to think?

Since my last post life has grabbed hold of me 🙂 This is a good thing. I’m changing my life in the direction I have always wished for. I consider myself extremely lucky 😀

Life is looking good, but has it’s challenges and a few funny twists…

Challenge 1: how to engage in healthy social life as a post-linguistic late deafened man without blowing a few fuses?
Answer: It’s near impossible. But with an understanding and supportive girlfriend who also gives me “the speech” when I need to hear it, I’m learning my lessons and I have to take the consequences of it. And I do. Many thanks to my sweetheart for being my honest and fierce hearing assistant and for taking care of me!
The very first meet with her large great family was made into a positive experience despite really sad circumstances. “C’est la vie”, as the french say.

Challenge 2: how to handle the (what I feel is) suspicion from medical professionals that ask me if I can’t do more than I am doing at present time?
Answer: Tell myself that my feelings can be ignored (in this matter), that I’m probably mistaken, and that if my physician really wanted to understand, she could ask me more questions. No one can understand my condition without having been there themselves, or asking me about how it is (I have become quite good at explaining it). On a side note: my perfect speech has become one of my “problems”, because “you can’t speak perfect and have a hearing problem” (you should at least have a speech deficiency!). Most people almost fall off their chair when I tell them my hearing chart classifies me as a deaf (as they have shown for many years).
It’s my hearing it’s something wrong with, not my head and certainly not my mouth!

Challenge 3: How to handle large life altering changes in life?
One thing at a time. And take it slow if you can. I have no other recipe. 🙂

Twist no. 1: A girl I know applied for CI after me, who has suffered sudden deafness on one ear, is due for CI-surgery at Rikshospitalet within the next two weeks. Why is she prioritized?
Believe me when I say that I’m thrilled for her! She is a great person, and really deserves it. But what about me? Didn’t I complain enough? Am I too naive about expecting the medical professionals to understand my condition? Isn’t it enough with deafness on both ears, a recruitment problem and a devilish tinnitus? I have a child I’m taking care of too! I feel I’m being punished for coping too well through difficulties in my life… It’s not the first time this has happened to me. I keep on doing my best. It’s all I can do. And to wish others good luck with their surgeries… My turn will come. I’m lucky and blessed with what I have in my life… I shouldn’t complain… I just want things to be fair and equal. But you can’t expect life to ever be fair, I’ve learned that much. It will only disappoint you.

Twist no. 2: The government are about to release a “finance crisis” package of stimulation to the economy. How about stimulating Rikshospitalet to operate on all those 200+ adults who need CI and have to wait 2+ years? That alone would save the well fare system for vast amounts of funds! It aggravates me! This (CI) group of individuals are too small to be heard in the larger context! I’m still waiting for Association for Hard of Hearing to get going with the process about the CI-operations at Rikshospitalet that is failing to meet the demands from the Health Minister last year… But anyway my turn is due soon, and this media-thing will probably come too late to have any effect for me anyway.

Frustration no. 1:
I had to ask for an extension of my temporary well fare benefit due to the slow process of CI-surgeries at Rikshospitalet. It will probably amount to another year! Another 500 000 NOK of taxpayer money wasted, and another year for my professional career gets lost. I’m starting to think: why bother trying?