Parenting, oncoming deafness and it’s effect

I am a single parent. I just had my son over for an extended weekend before he takes a long summer vacation with his mother.

My son hasn’t reached puberty yet, and hence has a boyish thin voice… Unfortunately this is the kind of voice that strikes me the worst, since it is in the frequency-neighborhood where I’m loosing hair-cells in the cochlea nowadays. It is the frequency of my tinnitus and it’s where my hyperacusia hits me the worst…

He is a joyful kid with a lot of energy. He has tried my hearing aids, and understand that it hurt my ears that he shouts, but as most kids, he can’t remember everything at once.

I have to hush him when he forgets. Which he follows most of the time (unless he is upset with me).

What troubles me in this, is my own condition. As a result of having my son around, I quickly become exhausted, because as most kids he likes to communicate, and we talk… He is signing some, but it takes effort to learn the signing properly, so it ends up with help-signs only. I don’t I have the energy for learning it… It’s a paradox… I need to learn it, but I’m to exhausted to even go to school once a week (I tried!). The only thing that could help me is the operation, and for that I have to wait…  It’s so wasted to wait!!!!  Aaaarggghhh!

Anyway, the hyperacusia and the recruitment and the following fatigue affects me mentally, and sometimes I can loose my self-control a little, ending in me being too harsh or too abrupt in my reactions. So I find myself using more energy trying to stay in control, rather than raising my son and using my energy positively. I don’t feel like I have a choice…

I have to use the first hours of my days do get things done, because by noon I’m exhausted and

run on will-power and love… At his bedtime I feel like I have the mental capacity as a drunk… Reading-time I have to do without any sound… Just listening to my own voice hurts…

This is not a “normal” life… I need that operation now!


2 Responses to “Parenting, oncoming deafness and it’s effect”

  1. an idea Says:

    have you considered learning cued speech? since you are already a native user of (a few?) spoken languages, this might be a quicker solution to how to get some silent communication tools.

    it seems that cued speech is not used much in norway, but you might be able to contact someone nearby who is a cued speech user to help you learn and practice the system.

    good luck!

  2. Abbie Says:

    Now that is a really good idea!

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