Just back from a session with my psychologist, where I dealt with the matter of fatigue. I learned something new about myself, and I guess this knowledge could be useful to many who are hard of hearing or near-deaf.
The state of fatigue is the subject that I want to raise here. Of course fatigue can have many reasons, both external, internal, material and spiritual. I want to discuss the mental aspect of it that became very clear to me today: When I get the notion in myself, that I’m tired, it starts a whole range of other reactions:
- anxiety (am I sick, is something wrong with me?)
- stress (what did I do to become so tired??? why is this happening?)
- sadness (the feeling of fatigue sort of disables me from being energetic, joyful and contributing to my surroundings)
- hopelessness (damn, is this how my life has become? Is this how I’m supposed to live my life???)
- and many more… (it is a little chaos of mixed emotions)
The emotions manifests into:
- Stomach feels like a brick, hard and heavy
- Neck becomes stiff
- Sensations of pain are more prone (backache, headache, muscle and tendons)
- A constant state of emergency (to put it short)
Last week, when I spoke with my incredifaboulofantastic girlfriend about this subject, we agreed that when I have the notion of being tired, I should simply say; “I need a break”.
This was the genius of it: instead of saying that:
“Oh, I am tired, I need to go by myself and be more tired” (thus pushing myself even further into the mental state of fatigue),
I can say, “Oh, my senses had a handful, they need a little rest, and then I’ll be fine again”.
By digging into the notion of fatigue, and really FEELING the weight of the emotions, I have also become more aware of what is happening to me in terms of thoughts, reactions and the results of those… This way; I can make a difference in myself by avoiding chains of thoughts that give me negative emotions and drain me even further of the precious energy I need to cope with the present situation of being near-deaf…
I hope this means something to someone, because it was an epiphany to me!