Recently I have tried to explain to people close to me how it really feels to loose the hearing the way I do. And I have become quite inventive and in the light of my newfound inner strenght, I have also found the courage to be honest about it to myself as well.
In that aspect, I keep getting these epiphanies. Here’s one in the form of an allegory:Imagine a ordinary glowing light bulb. Most of us have experienced that sometimes they get this extra light strength. You know it’s a dying light bulb… And if you turn the light off and then attempt to turn it on again, it won’t be glowing anymore. The bulb had a glorious shine before it died.
The same way, only in a longer timespan, it feels with my hearing. I complain about my mother’s high voice, or when kids yell like they’re 20 meters away from me even though they sit next to me. It is close to painful, and it makes me quickly more tired. Other adults around me do not react
I think my hearing-aids creates sound that is a little too much for my hearing organ (the eardrum and the connected parts that form my inner ear) to carry. It worked for a time, but with every new generation of new hearing aids, I crank up the volume a little. Now it’s obviously enough. On top of that, I think my brain desperately tries to wring every decibel out of my ears. That gives a combination of cranked up hearing-aids and a brain running wild!
It might be that my brain actually overcompensates and give me a form of oversensitivity as the last remnants of my glion hair cells in the cochlea slowly are becoming unable to transmit the effect of sound vibrations…
T his is merely an attempt to explain how it feels and how it is. In time I hope I will find even better allegories or ways to illustrate the process I’m in….
I’ll keep searching for an understanding and an explanation…