In the process of going deaf, I can…

…give up (I’m on my longest sick-leave in my life right now) or…

Keep at it. I decided for the latter. It sounds better. In the long run my situation will improve. Someone said: “It’s what you do when life is tough that defines you.” I want to define myself as one who overcame difficulties and obstacles in life.

I just decided to go back to working. Not fulltime, of course, but I will research for various possible solutions.
My father gave me this advice: “Do something, even if it you feel it’s beneath you. What’s important is that you stay out there (in the worklife), even if it’s marginal, or boring. Then you will at least be respected for not giving up, and you will respect yourself more, too.”

Wow, that advice just blew me away (RESPECT, dad!). The very same day my psychologist (yes, I need therapy to cope with my life now) asked me what I thought would be a spesific happening that would make my life feel better. I answered a few things, and among them was: work…

Nobody else can work for me, I have to do that myself, even though my brain feels like a fuse-box that’s about to overheat sometimes… The trick is, that I have to pay attention to those symptoms when they occur, and just let them decide for me…. One thing I want to avoid, is getting a breakdown again…

Plan now is to work my way UP, instead of working myself down, like I used to…

I was too used to being tired. That means that the warning-mechanisms in me has been subject to a constant overload. Like a drug in your body, when used a lot, you need to take more drug in order for it to have an effect.


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