Especially late in the day, my ears feels like they have been electrically overloaded, like a red-hot fuse about to blow. It feels like they’re bleeding, literally. They are hot and sweaty, and I use cotton-tips to wipe out the stuff that’s in there. I do that because my hearing gets worse since the excess liquid in my ear-canal actually dampens the sound that travels from my hearing-aids.
I need all the sound I can get, but recently I have started to wonder if it’s more than my physical ear-organ can sustain. Why is it feeling like it’s gonna melt?
I went to visit my best friend today. He has a daughter, almost 3 years of age. She is very talkative and attention-craving, especially after a little while. I don’t blame her, all kids are like that. The effect it has on me is not a good one though…. It wears me out to separate the sound coming from him from the sound from her… I just have to cope with the situation.
I enjoy seeing my friend and his daughter, make no mistake about that.
It’s just that after 2 – 3 hours I’m dead meat. Exhausted. It’s really depressing to be so tired after a relatively short encounter with my best friend.
What’s worse is that sometimes I have reservations about seeing someone, because I know what’s in store for me…
In order to understand people, I have to concentrate hard. Really hard. Not just at hearing, but at lipreading to. And when that’s not sufficient, I have to use my logics to guess what the sentences spoken are… Or sometimes I just use the old “cheap” way out; I pretend I hear. (ending up with feelings of guilt and remorse, just to make things better… NOT)
If I could make it into a formula to make people understand just how hard I have to concentrate to get what is being said to me, it would like something like this;
lipreading + (hearing) X 4 + (the logic of the sentences) X 2
= the total amount of effort and concentration. I’ll get into this more at a later time…